15 Monumental Moments of 2011: Super Personal
Falling in love.
Leaving your job.
Mastering your mind.
And finding your purpose.
That’s the abbreviated version of my 2010.
But what about 2011?
It’s a completely different story — the one I’m here to tell today.
This is an adventure packed with juicy passion, renewed freedom, and an expanded sense of what’s possible with our lives.
Here’s a cherry-picked goody-list of what I loved most about last year. Here are 15 super personal monumental moments, experiences, and changes of 2011 accompanied by the lessons that I learned from them.
I got paid to be myself
while helping other people become their dreams.
I know, I know. I’d look to verify the validity of that vivacious statement as well — it sounds like Hawaiian weather — too good to be true. But it is.
After a kick in the ass from a mentor of mine, I ruthlessly wrestled some rampant self-resistance and started offering my services as a life coach. Writing an article like this that can inspire you is dope, but working one-on-one with you and getting paid to be my authentic self while I help you create a life you love — its fucking priceless!
I learned the power in authentic connection. Opening up the space for people to tap into and talk about their dreams — and then not discouraging but empowering them — is something that is rarely regular. If you want to create a magical connection with someone, cut your preconditioned responses out and communicate core to core.
I lived the good life
and did what i wanted, when i wanted to do it.
I went to bed when I felt like it, woke up when I wanted to, spent my days as I pleased, and focused my energy where I chose to. Although initially this luxury may seem hedonistic, it may actually be a core part of my nature and/or social programming.
David Deida says the longing for autonomy is a prominent attribute inherent in “masculine energy.” Essentially, this desire to be autonomous is really the desire for freedom – and whether that freedom is physical, mental, spiritual, or sexual, it’s there.
I learned that autonomy is a top value of mine for a reason. The magnitude of my propensity toward autonomy may vary but I sense it’ll always be there. At some point in my life, like the procreation period, I’ll have to compromise a degree of that autonomy for another value, like love. But for now, it’s golden!
I wrote a book
to help people find their purpose in life.
Writing a book is a spectacle that I envisioned occurring when I was 50 with a gray goatee. Turns out I didn’t need to wait for Rogaine commercials to become relevant for me to stitch together some lively literacy.
After 26 years of making mischievous mistakes and 6 months of artistically articulating them, I was able to distill the wisdom which enabled me to create a life I love. Financially, it’s yet to afford me the same private plane as Warren Buffet. But soulfully, getting messages like, “Awesome fact for you: I am currently sitting in my car… listening to your audio from Living on Purpose… Punching the air going ‘shit yeah!’”, makes it all worth it.
I learned that when you have a dream, you need to cut the passive procrastination shit out. Get real firm on a specific due date, and then map out the major markers you’ll need to hit along the way. Do this, and you can accomplish astounding things!
I freaked out
and had a plethora of painful panic-attacks.
Yeah, the extraordinary life sometimes puts you through extraordinary lessons. I didn’t say that this journey would be easy. I said it would be worth it!
With a suffocating amount of uncertainty in my life, I started to get abnormally anxious. I didn’t know how I would support myself financially, I didn’t know if Sensophy would be a “failure,” and in the mist of massive confusion — I didn’t know what the hell I was doing.
I learned that people living extraordinary lives aren’t exempt from shitty situations. The difference is that when you’re working toward living a life you love, it makes dealing with the shitty situations immensely more worth it.
I turned down a ton of money
and said no thank you to a “real” job.
As the end of 2011 rolled around, I got really serious about making some money. The cats needed kitty food. So as a super safety net, I put my IT resume out there and got recruited by a sweet IT company. They put me through the wringer, tested my skill level, and in the end offered me a job making more money than I ever have before.
I spent some solid blocks of time thinking about taking that job. I thought about my future, wanting to support a family, and how much I like nice dinners and new toys. But then I thought about how painful it would be to do “meaningless” work, surrender my autonomy, and postpone progress on my long term vision.
I learned that I’m on the right path — taking the Hero’s Journey. Getting a monetary offer of massive magnitude tested my commitment to the path and turning it down reinvigorated me.
I landed my dream job
by asking for help when I dreaded doing so.
Back in September, as I was drinking $3 Mai Tais on a beach in Waikiki, my homey MikeB spit some sense(ophy) to me. He asked where my relationship with a good mentor of mine was, and I told him the truth — I didn’t know!
From that conversation came a signature Sokol, “Gary Vee” style email, to one of my favorite people in the world. I poured my heart out to him, asking for sincere cut-the-crap business advice. After a few gut-wrenching days of silence, I got a reply saying “I’d love to chat!”
An hour of practical philosophizing later and he offered me a job to work at his academy for optimal living. My current “work when you want” job there is to facilitate world-class teachers in giving their greatness to the world while they conduct courses telephonically. Here’s the dopeness: I’m getting paid to do something I would normally pay to do.
I learned that when you communicate from your core, people feel it in theirs. If I wouldn’t have made myself vulnerable, there’s no way I’d have this opportunity.
I went skinny dipping
on the beach of Waikiki at 3AM.
Well, almost skinny dipping: boxers and a wife-beater. I was surrounded by the sea, looking into the deep aqua ocean, with billions of stars staring down at me. One word: Soulful!
There’s something so comforting about recognizing our infinite ignorance and what better way to do that than by pondering the possibilities that the cosmos provides for us. If you’re looking to eliminate your ego and blow your mind, check out the show, Through the Wormhole, where Morgan Freeman narrates some of the latest findings in our universe.
I learned that I don’t know shit. As the great German philosopher Immanuel Kant explained, our perception of reality is limited by and to our 5 senses. Therefore we must accept the possibility that there’s infinite intelligence beyond our ability to comprehend.
I got my mojo back
baby, oh behave!
In the early months of 2010, I fell in love. In the early months of 2011, I fell to the floor — hard. When my last relationship ended, I was so focused on work that I didn’t wanna pay any mind to dating. But by the time I realized that grooving with girls was incredibly important to me (and my self-actualization), there was a pinch of romantic desperation in my interactions.
As the year went on, I started to find a real sweet spot of finesse. This year I had the privileged opportunity to connect with a swarm of women, some more deeply than others. I didn’t go around trying to stick my penis in all of them, but there were a few that for a temporary time, really rocked my world.
I learned that I’m at my best when I have a great girl to share my world with. I learned the importance of allowing yourself to be vulnerable with the intention of love and growth. But I also learned to practice being detached from outcomes. Being vulnerable at the right times is a crucial key to authentic connection, but it’s a world away from degrading yourself to try and please someone — don’t confuse the two.
I made new homeboys and girls
while distancing myself from a bunch of old ones.
One perk of playing lead role in my life is that I constantly get to meet interesting people. Anytime anyone reaches out to me, I respond (unless somehow the email/call/message slips by me). At risk of sounding like a J-Date profile, I love meeting new people (plus long walks on the beach, open-heart pillow-talk, and sensual experiences).
This year I sky-dived in Portland with 45 other freakshows. I hosted a bunch of people on my couch in NYC. I got hosted in other people’s pads throughout the world. I met a ton of peeps traveling. And I connected with 100s of Sensophizers!
I learned that quality connections with people are a fundamental pillar of a fulfilled life. Your largest success will quickly shrink without having a circle of friends to share it with. Your smallest success will multiply exponentially if you have quality connections to share your life with.
I evolved my knowledge of self
and fought through frightening fears.
You know, after 26 years on this planet, you would think that I know myself pretty well. Call it a gift or call it a curse, but I’m becoming more and more conscious of myself every year.
This year’s “self-work” included identifying that I have an ability to obsess like an insane person at times. These mental death spirals are easier to escape when I can abstractly label them as OCD and/or anxiety. I also realized that I have a fear of abandonment that’s been presenting itself and plaguing my non-platonic relationships for a long time. Getting conscious of these things helps to provide prospective and keep them in check when they kick in.
I learned that although I never considered it to be, at times, anxiety is a major component of my life. Chip Conley says that anxiety comes primarily from two things: (1) Being uncertain about something in the future. And (2) Not having control over that event. If you want to reduce anxiety, increase your certainty and control.
I also learned that before you attempt to reduce anxiety, you may want to harness that anxious energy and alchemize it into fuel for the fire of your ambitions. If you find the right balance, anxiety can serve as a serious propellant!
I turned passion into profit
and incorporated Sensophy Inc.
Ever stop and think: If you had all the time and all the money in the world, what would you do? How bout this one: What do you love to do SO much, that you would pay to do it every day? Now, instead of paying to do, imagine if you could GET paid to do it. Far out stuff, huh?
Sensophy was my answer to those questions. If I had all the time and all the money in the world, fundamentally, I’d be doing something very similar to what I am now. And this year, between creating Living On Purpose, offering Life Coaching, and a few other income streams, I figured out how to get paid to do what I love.
I worked my ass off to make this “dream life” a reality for myself. And at times, I was a little too committed to making this work and I became over-attached to the outcome.
I learned that when you go into something with the mentality of “this needs to work now or I’m fucked” — you’re fucked. Patience and persistence toward the long term vision is where it’s at. As Epictetus said, “No thing great is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig. If you tell me that you desire a fig, I answer you that there must be time. Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen.”
I moved toward 8 million people
which is the arbitrary number of people that I want to inspire.
If you haven’t yet noticed, I don’t do too well with “reality.” That’s cuz reality is subjective and anyone who tells you otherwise is projecting their own perceived limitations onto you. One of my “unrealistic” goals of last year was to inspire 8 million people (NYC’s population).
Last year Sensophy had 45,000 different peeps come through for over 2 minutes on average. The reach of that impact seems immeasurable but my hunch says that positivity spreads exponentially. That’s why every small act counts in some way.
I also wrote a guest post (based on the Sensophy happiness report) that at the time I’m writing this was shared/liked on Facebook over 84,000 times!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! Just Google 12 Things Happy People Do Differently and see the tsunami of people it spoke to.
I learned that a patient, persistent, and diligent commitment to your long-term vision will explode your sense of what’s possible with your life. If you can cultivate the willpower to let instant gratification subside, you can really do some cool shit with your life!
I played hide and seek
and somehow, I lost every time.
Probably because I was up against the world-class, grand-master, international tournament champion: Dahlia! Being an uncle is one of the illest things ever.
Chilling with my niece reminds me of all that’s right in the world. She’s a big ball of love, laughter, playfulness, fascination, and growth — at least when she’s with Uncle Jacob. Chillin’ with her brings the best outta me. She’s not jaded, has no prejudice, and hasn’t been soulwashed by societal domestication yet. The glare of her eyes holds something pure, something comforting, something natural, and something ineffable.
I learned that young children have so many of the quintessential qualities which adults are desperately deficient in. Feeling spiritually depleted? Look into the eyes of a 2 year old for a while.
I continued sensophizing
as I applied practical approaches to esoteric philosophy.
Too much philosophy, theory, and thought with no implementation is like too much porn with no loving. It’s a 2D experience that can serve its purpose at a particular time in a certain space. But to become deeply alive, and fully functional on a wide spectrum of life’s levels, we need to integrate the theory into our lives. Otherwise we’re just jerking our minds off.
I was intimate with some incredibly thought-provoking, mind-bending, and action-inspiring material this year. A few of my favorites were:
- The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire
- Sophie’s World: A Novel about the History of Philosophy
- Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment
- Man’s Search for Meaning
- Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment
- Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul
- The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship
- The E-Myth Revisited: Why Most Small Businesses Don’t Work and What to Do About It
- Finding Joe – DVD
- Super Immunity with Joel Fuhrman, M.D. – CLASS
I learned that I’m at such an infantile stage of my educational evolution. I’ve set up some great groundwork to serve as a foundation, but in the next few years and decades, I’m going to create some magnificent structures based on these beginnings.
I lived on purpose
and created an extraordinary life!
I shaped the last 12 months of my life into a big experiment and ultimately molded myself an extraordinary life. It wasn’t all glamorous by any gauging. I fucked up a ton and metaphorically bloodied my face badly. Really, I caused myself a lot of pain and am still working through some challenging habits.
So why was 2011 so ‘on purpose’ for me and how did I use it to create such an extraordinary life?
What made this year so extraordinarily monumental wasn’t anything I learned. Rather, it was what I embodied. And I embodied my philosophy of purpose.
I used my skills to do things that excited me and figured out a way to serve the world in the process. The formula looks like: strengths + passions + service = purpose.
Send me an email and in the signature of my reply, you’ll see a quote from Gandhi that says, “My life is my message.”
2012 is your chance to accept my message from 2011.
Keep in touch and let me know how I can help!