Inspiration
The Holy Trinity of Happiness
Pleasure, Flow, and Meaning. That may not mean much to you right now, but by the time you’re done reading this, you’ll have a better understanding of happiness as a whole. Even doper, yes i said it – doper – is that you’ll understand which types of happiness are built to last. Here goes something…
A couple of cute words on happiness. You ask: why would i want to be happy? My homeboy Tal Ben-Shahar says simply that we pursue happiness because it’s our nature to do so. The word “emotion” has the same root in it as “motive” and “motion.” It’s emotion that motivates us to move. Happiness, essentially, is the mack-daddy of all emotions. Can i get a 90′s hip-hop head nod?
But what really is happiness? Well i’m glad you asked. Tal defines happiness as “the overall experience of pleasure and meaning.” There’s something special in that statement. It was a ground ball right to you – did you catch it? Pleasure and meaning entail present and future benefit. Doing something that stimulates you now while simultaneously providing you with future benefit – that’s where it’s at homeslice!
Another one of my main men, Martin Seligman, breaks happiness up into three types of lives: The Pleasant Life, The Good Life, and The Meaningful Life.
The Pleasant Life
The pleasant life consists of having as many pleasures as possible.
You can think of pleasure in any sense that you’d like, but i’m keeping this PG-13. Warning: some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.
Pleasure in this instance constitutes positive emotion and savoring the moment. It’s the feeling you get when you eat your favorite tasting food. {{Baked sweet potato fries}} It can be the sensation that arises and stimulates you when you first find romance. It’s a smiley, cheerful, fun filled feeling of loving the moment. It is however, quite elusive.
Here are a couple of drawbacks to the pleasant life:
- Appropriately 50% of positive emotion comes from your genes and it seems there’s not a massive amount that can be done about that. For some tricks and tips on how to increase happiness in this arena, check out: 12 Scientifically Proven Steps Toward Everyday Happiness
- Our dude Marty says that positive emotion habituates like, and i quote him, “french-vanilla ice-cream.” The first taste is a euphoric explosion and by the time you’re on spoon six – it’s nothing new.
The Good Life
The good life consists of a life filled with “Flow.”
The term Flow was coined by positive psychology Mihály Csíkszentmihályi and can be defined as a state in which “action and awareness are merged.” It’s being so immersed in what you’re doing that you lose track of time and feeling. You’re completely focused on the task at hand and nothing will distract you from it.
Athletes call this being in the zone. You may experience it when you dance, study for a test, read a great book, play ping-pong, or perform open-heart surgery.
Flow occurs when you strike a balance between two things: the task’s difficulty level and your skill level. If you’re over-skilled, you’ll be bored. If you’re under-skilled, you’ll be anxious. When there’s a balanced between the two, you’ll be flowing!
You can increase flow experiences in your life by identifying what your strengths are, and re-crafting your life to use them as much as you can on a daily basis. It may be helpful, but you don’t need new circumstances to integrate more flow into your life. Get creative!
The Meaningful Life
The meaningful life consists of living with purpose,
or even an ongoing set of goals. Your purpose can be anything you want, but check it – it has to be something that’s intrinsically valuable to you. That means that the purpose in and of itself is valuable to you. There’s personal meaning behind it!
If you’re doing it because you feel like it’s what you’re supposed to do – that’s not your purpose! Rather, your purpose is gonna’ be something you want to do! Can you feel the difference in doing something that you’re obligated to do verse doing something because it’s personally meaningful to you?
As with The Good Life, The Meaningful Life entails knowing what your highest strengths are, and then using them daily – especially in service to something greater than yourself.
Lasting Happiness
Are you thoroughly aroused right now?
Yeah, positive psych seems to have that effect on people around here – you’re not the only one. Well, in the midst of this passionate moment, keep in mind that the different lives listed above are not mutually exclusive. In fact, your best bet is a life that combines all three! In the long run, the two lives that bring lasting happiness are The Good Life and The Meaningful Life. The Pleasant Life is definitely worth pursuing, but by itself, will be of little long-term value to ya’.
Happiness is a skill. A practice. A muscle. The more time you spend consciously working it out, the more jacked up you’ll be about life. If you start slacking and skipping sessions at the happiness gym, you’ll shortly after shrink in size. Happiness, like Mastery, is about the journey. Sure there are ups and downs but those pass, and in the long run, you’re gonna’ be as happy as you’re committed to being… Enjoy the joy of it all!
If You Enjoyed This
Please share it with your favorite social network.
It could help deliver happiness to some of your best friends. Thanks in advance!
22 Responses to The Holy Trinity of Happiness
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We've all met them…the people who just don't want to be happy. Some people seem to take their pleasure from telling you all the reasons why they can't be happy. I think you summed up the key to happiness at the end of this excellent post – "you're gonna' be as happy as you're committed to being" It's easy to let things get you down if you are not committed to being happy. Thanks Jacob!
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Dadad says:
Agreed happiness requires a trained skillful and centered mind frame. For those who've not yet seen martin sejigman's youtubes, I advise you to check him out. Big intuitions and general info.
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Goof ups: Agreed! Happiness, and Seligman.
Ho hum!
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always a great reminder that "victim" mode is not permanent & a choice; we are in control of our own happiness, flow & meaning. let's go out, CREATE & PRACTICE some happiness! thanks for the always awesome words Jacob!
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Hey, Jacob!!! Great to hear form you. And I LOVE your line about treating happiness like a muscle. I will carry THAT one with me! Just got my whole morning set up to do my calls and meetings from on top of a red rock bluff here…that's pumping iron! Cheers!
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So I stumbled across your site a few months ago while going through the one and only Tim Ferriss's blog and I must say, it's been good read. I love the story about the Jets and not to mention how you not only get people motivated to change, but actually get them to understand how to do that in their own lives. Great site man…
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Mark!!! Thanx so much dude. I really appreciate the kind words and i'm *thrilled* that sensophy speaks to you. Keep in touch neighbor!!
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Toni says:
You Rock!! I loove your site!! inspirational!!
hugs
Toni
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Haha! Thanx so much Toni!! Massively appreciative that you're so receptive to it. Chat soooooon!! -=)
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hey Jacob!
"you’re gonna’ be as happy as you’re committed to being" ….Now we are talking!!!
Happiness is subjective, and highly personal. It is a commitment that we make to our selfs….. or not.
I take 1000% responsibility for my happiness! If I don't, who will? No one is as invested in it as me.
So don't sweat the small stuff, and the big stuff …well that is, the challenge, is it not?.
Thanks Jacob! Another reality check that feels gooooood.
Well said !!! -
Lolo says:
Jacob, I LOOOOOOVE your posts and site. It always makes me feel good after reading it. I always send to others and share the love. I have found so much insight in reading your postings. I love the way you put it… always kinda down to earth and humorous. I appreciate it. Thanks, so much for making my day!
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Lolo!! -=) What a beautiful comment… Thanx so much for the feedback – it brought a big bold smile to my grill piece. I'm looking fwd to learning more from each other as we grow together into the future. Rock on yo…
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Emma says:
i am studying for my final exams at the moment and i have to say i love how you have explained the three types of life. really symple, straight forward and easy to understand. am going to tell my whole class to look it up.
I think the best lesson to take away from this is that happiness is not a singular thing to pursue. Happiness is the combined consequence of a lot of different things working together. People think all the money in the world would make them happy, but it would just make them comfortable, financially speaking. Happiness goes much deeper than that. Being able to travel exotic locales wouldn't make anybody necessarily happy, it would just give them lots of great experiences. You need to combine that with deep, meaningful experiences. In your example, it's a three-pronged effort. Good stuff!