Episodes
How To Deal With Pain
25 Responses to How To Deal With Pain
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Uber-inspiring revelation Dawn. I agree with your point about not being able to deal with the person(s) involved IN person – it truly is enough to handle things internally. What's inside projects outward, so resolving something within definitely releases those oh-so-good vibes we all love to feel. Thanks for sharing that anecdote =)
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Does the introduction come with a complementarity dinner? And if that is the case, then i'll put you in touch with my parents and you can have som dinner with them!
Definitely Dawn. I've found that most of the time what we're really dealing with is our belief / interpretation / response to the person / situation / conflict. As Chris mentioned below, it all comes back to what's inside of us.
Thanx for sharing!! -=)
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Jayne says:
Hey PYT!!!
Totally get ya on the short-term pain vs. long-term pain! We are in control of our own destiny and are 100% response-able for the choices we make in life – although it's not always easy to escape the 'rat-race' when we have 'dependants' i.e., kiddy-winkles! We've gotta 'do what we love to do' and if we can't do that for whatever reason, we've gotta 'love what we do'!!
Lovin' the MJ today!
xx
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Agreed… Jacob is a PYT! He needs some lovin' (TLC) Tender Lovin' Care… and I'll take him there. (Yes I will — yes I will :))
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Can you run that back one more time please, *on video!* You're wildin' stallion…
In the long run, in the long run i say, the PYTs all lead back to "the temptation station!!"
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This reminded me about long-term pain I had to deal with aimed toward my father (or as I affectionately call him, my "donor"). I moved to New Haven from Germany when I was two, with my him and my mom (yea, I am an army baby =) and within a year and a half or so, lost him as a constant presence in my life. My mom was always real with me about why he had to go but I still resented the fact for years that my friends had dads and I didn't.
Now I have learned to tolerate the reality of it all (it took until adulthood to really come to terms with it). But it's true: holding on to that pain caused more damage in the long run versus accepting things as they were. Granted, I was a child, but I had enough sense to have had been able to distinguish between the two.
My donor — dad — and I are cool now. I still don't agree with his justifications, but I refuse to let anger or hatred for him fester within me. It's much easier to forgive him (heck, I turned out quite fine without him so in my opinion no harm done, lol). Plus, that experience reminds me to do the same with my other loved ones, so it's an amazing, albeit arduous, lesson learned.P.S.: I am also a MJ fan! ^___^ Fun Fact: I went to one of his concerts in Germany while I was still in the belly (went to a Prince concert as well =). I was BORN a fan (came out moonwalking! lemme stop, HAHA).
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LMAO! Dude, i knew you looked familiar: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9a64ySqzM8Y
Love the way you dropped that bro "so it's an amazing, albeit arduous, lesson learned." Sounds like it could be the name of a good website ;)
Chris – i'm honored to know you… Keep keeping on with what you've been on and i see some more major goodness coming your way.
Thanx for sharing from such a deep place!
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awesome and hilarious video! [ that was totally me, lol ]
you were right about the simplicity of WP. I am having a blast; creation-mode ALL DAY ^__^
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dismissnothing says:
um my twitter account got hacked by some twitter retard… btw homeydudes same here… can't help but respect that mj character!
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Lee says:
Hey Jacob
Firstly, great job on Sensphy.com; love the site, very inspirational.
Secondly, this post really resonated with me. I've just woken up at 7.00am (uk) to do a 10 mile road race. I REALLY am not feeling it, but I'm running a marathon in 2 weeks, and I know the short term pain of today's run will be more than worth the benefits. If I wasn't to complete my goal and run a good marathon, there'd be a whollllle lot more long term pain associated with letting myself down, underperforming, and not achieving my goals.
So, now off to run, super motivated!!
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WOW!! Lee – that is dope yo… Thanx so much for sharing and congratz on the accomplishment.
One of my mentors once said something along the lines of "Oh, you don't FEEL like running today? What do your feelings have anything to do with it?" He was implying that when we know what we need to do, we've gotta do it regardless of what we FEEL like doing.
Keep me posted on the race!
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Ha appreciate the reply Jacob; you're right, need to ignore the negative feelings, and just get on with doing. (The race went great, just 10 days till marathon now and super psyched!)
And i realised I embaressingly opened with a congratulations on sensphy.com, so i'd just like to make it clear (without any typos this time), that SENSOPHY.COM ROCKS!
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Awesome dude!! And no worries on the "sensphy slip" – i just let a comment for another buddy of mine justifying my previous sloppy comment submission. Have a rockstar weekend and keep me posted on the race. Chat soon!!
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What up PYT?
I gotta say, as fab as you are and as fantastic as your message, my neural pathways are so *excitable* to MJ, I found myself singing along and sometimes missing the message. But then again, I'm highly destractable- ahem, who is that on your corkboard with Brian and BruceLee? I digress… :)
Great points about addressing pain. Otherwise it grows and festers. I dig the analogy of holding onto any pain, ill-will, or resentment towards someone else…it is like drinking poison, and expecting your nemesis to die…NO! It only poisons YOU!
Keep up the good work. "You knock me offa my feet now baby~ heeeeeeeeeee"
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Hahaha.. E BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOG – That's MASLOW!! You know, the "what one can be one *must* be" guy!
Sing it with me sistah!! Thanx for the check-in ghettolishous tech support! -=)
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Jenna says:
Thanks Jacob!
You made some great points. I have definitely had to address some buried down "short term pains" from my childhood in order to move on with my life and it was really hard to face that pain for a 2nd time around, but totally liberating once I got through it!
Second, you talk at the end about addressing conflict in the now, and I think this is definitely a place I have to work on. Particularly, my sister and I live together (she's 28, I'm 24) and get along for the most part, but we've definitely had some arguments where either she or I end up feeling hurt, so we basically don't speak for a couple of days and then pretend like it didn't happen. Our family was never one to call a meeting and talk about our feelings or resolve an argument… we were always the scream-and-forget kind of family, so I've found it extremely hard to break these habits, but I know that it would make my relationship with my sister SO much better for both of us if we could settle our disputes civilly and not hold grudges. Thanks for the inspiration to keep moving in a positive direction!Jenna
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Ahhhhh.. thank YOU Jenna! I'm stoked that the video resonated with you and thrilled that you've been inspired. Keep up the awesome work… Baby steps homegirl, baby steps!! -=)
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Good stuff Jacob. Embrace the short-term pain for the long-term gain. This can also come in the way of NOT doing something. I've noticed that biting my tongue (pain) and not saying something (to be right or heard) has saved my arse on many occasions because soo often the other person is simply venting. I wish I learned this earlier… my EX-wife once told me that guys always want to fix things when all women want is for us to listen. iy yi yi say it ain't so Joe… any guy reading this is likely rolling his eyes, but knows in his heart its true… gotta give to get eh? Pastor Robert Lewis (www.mensfraternity.com) refers to this as the "Paradox Principle"… die a little to live a lot.
Thank you for all you do… your words and energy are both inspiring and addictive! PEEEACE!-
Hahaha Michael!! Hilarity indeeeeed! Thanx so much for the good laughs. Looking fwd to more magic coming fwd in the future!! PPPEEEAAACCCEEE!!!
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I would love to introduce you all to my mother and my father. They are both prime examples of what can happen if you do not do exactly what you said. Both my parents are haging on to shit from the past like it's a death match between then and now. Ugh…
Deal with it is right. However, understand that you may NOT be able to deal directly with the person, or the situation that is causing the pain. You may only be able to deal with it in your own mind and conciousness…. I have never been, no do I believe I ever will, be able to directly resolve the issues with my parents…however, I have long since resolved them within myself. Able to forgive them both, and love them…even though they have not gotten to that place, nor do we have a healthy relationship. And I am ok with that…because I know for me, it is not because I am holding on to the pain, I am free…to love them, just as they are, even if they can't.
Bravo Jacob…good call on the vid!!