Talking Point #1: Inspiration, Focus and Motivation

Think about the difference between a “state” and a “stage”. We all experience moments or periods of intense inspiration and motivation, which feels awesome! But this is hardly sustainable. These high and intensely inspiring moments are “states” that can be quite fleeing, before we go back to the more consistent “stage” of our life.

Finding focus and motivation that’s sustainable means we need to raise the bar of our life stage. Think about what baby steps you can take to reach that inspired state on a more consistent basis. Remember: inspiration is perishable, so use it or lose it!

It can be super helpful to find another person or group to hold you accountable to your goals. Showing up and setting a commitment to others will make sure you actually get stuff done.

Talking Point #2: Extrinsic vs. Intrinsic Goals

What makes us fulfilled? What brings us psychological stability? Social science points to 2 different types of goals that affect our feelings of fulfillment: extrinsic and intrinsic goals.

Extrinsic goals are goals we have in order to validate or prove ourselves worthy in some way. They often involve obtaining things outside of ourselves, which come in three main categories:

• Money
• Fame
• Beauty

 Now it’s not that these things are bad in and of themselves, but setting goals for the sake of getting these things leads to trouble. And what is trouble? Trouble means depression, anxiety, narcissism, and less psychological stability and fulfillment. So we know that extrinsic goals lead to trouble… and if you’re looking for fulfillment, you don’t want trouble.

Intrinsic goals include growth, relationships and contribution goals.

• Growth goals means we’re improving, focusing on becoming more competent.
• Relationship goals mean you’re connecting deeply with others in an authentic way.
• Contribution goals mean having a sense of meaning, being of service, using our strengths to add value to the world.

These types of goals lead to happiness, fulfillment, a feeling of flow and psychological stability. We want to implement more intrinsic goals into our lives to find a greater sense of purpose, fulfillment and success.

Talking Point #3: Practicing Authenticity as a Verb

Think about yourself as an iceberg. We all have several parts to us: the part of the iceberg “above the water” that we show to the world and the part of us “below the water” that is often hidden from others. While it’s easy to show the tip of the iceberg to the world, expressing the part that’s submerged takes courage and vulnerability. Practicing authenticity as a verb means expressing the parts of us beneath the water in a safe space, feeling vulnerable and really connecting with others from our core.

We went around the group with an activity called, “If you really knew me…” Everyone on the call finished the sentence “If you really knew me…” with something authentic and vulnerable that the rest of the group would never know from the surface.

Authenticity is humanizing and connects us on such a deep level. Bringing authenticity into our lives helps us live with more fulfillment and purpose, according to our core values.

HW + Action Steps!

As always, we’d love for you to share your personal favorite takeaways in the private Facebook group, and let’s keep up these awesome connections!