Big Idea #1: Finding the “Why” Behind Your Goals

Oftentime when we set goals, we feel like we’ve failed when we don’t reach them. But rather than becoming attached to goals and their outcomes, we can use our goals to look at what it is we’re really striving for.

“A goal is not intended to ever be achieved. A goal is a direction for us to go in.”

Goals can be used to evolve and gain new mindsets about being vulnerable and embracing life with arms wide open, regardless of the results. When we are able to move down a path fully open, welcoming whatever outcomes may arise, we are moving from a place of inner strength.

When something doesn’t happen the way we think it should, it’s usually because the universe is bringing us something better. Letting go and remaining authentic and vulnerable will result in a big payoff in the end.

Don’t get so attached to the outcomes of goals, but instead, get more specific on the feelings you want to feel. In other words, rather than focusing on the goal itself, look at the “why” behind the goal. What is it that achieving this goal will help you feel?

Once you’ve discovered the “why” or the feeling behind the goal, you can make that your new direction. You may find other paths to lead to that result, so you no longer need to attach to the original goal.

Big Idea #2: Reality and Optimism

Dealing with disappointment can be hard, but it’s important to not only face reality but to accept it fully. Once you can accept where you are, regardless of whether it’s where you wanted to be, then you can take constructive action to move forward.

“When I argue with reality, I lose…but only 100% of the time.”

You always have the ability to choose the most empowered response to a situation, and make something great from it. Even if a situation seems tragic or terribly disappointing at the time, we always have the power to ask ourselves, “How is this happening for me?”

When we change the lens through which we see an event, we can go from feeling totally disappointed to realizing this is probably an opportunity for something even better to come along.

Many of us are told our whole lives that we “need to be realistic.” This language confines us, predefines who we are and what we can do with our lives.

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a persistent one.” –Einstein

So is it better to be realistic, or optimistic?

Social scientists have found that goals are best approached from a realistic-optimistic approach. Start by visualizing your ideal outcome. Then ask yourself, “What are the challenges that might come up along the way?” Envision these challenges en route to your goal. (The realistic part.) Then envision how you can deal with those challenges. (The optimistic part!) Visualizing yourself working through these potential challenges helps you come up with pre-rehearsed strategies for coping. So if the challenge does come up, not only can you work through it, but you’re way more prepared to work through it confidently and with lightness and ease.

Big Idea #3: Self-Transformation

Many of us go through phases where we feel socially awkward, or uncomfortable in our own skin. First of all, it’s totally normal to go through a phase like this, and the best part is when we come out of it, we often find ourselves flourishing beyond how we could have imagined.

But some people spend most or all of their lives stuck in that uncomfortable space, thinking that that’s who they have to be forever. So what can push you if you find yourself stuck in this space, feeling uncomfortable with yourself? How can you find a way to flourish and thrive and be the ideal person you imagine?

Start by getting out of your comfort zone. Doing new things and being in new spaces can help push us to overcome the challenges within us. And facing any fears we have can also push us to become that much better and create an amazing journey.

If we look back at the times in our life that felt the absolute hardest, looking back it’s super clear how those moments have led us to what we’re most grateful for right now. In other words, the best parts of our lives now have often come from really difficult times in the past! This is a really positive way to reframe challenges that come up in our lives.

HW + Action Steps!

As always, we’d love for you to share your personal favorite takeaways in the private Facebook group.