Big Idea #1: Creating the Feelings we Want to Feel

When we end a relationship with someone, we often find ourselves missing a sense of connection and intimacy in our lives.

Instead of mourning the loss and wishing to have that person back, though, we can take a more productive and healthy approach. Ask yourself: “What is the feeling that I used to get from this relationship?” You might miss the feeling of playfulness, lightheartedness, or intimacy that you had, or some other feeling or feelings. So, is it really the person that you miss, or is it the feelings?

You’ll probably come to find that it’s these feelings that you really crave. So even though the relationship is no longer in your life, you still have the power to create those feelings in your life now.

We often end up personifying the feelings that we get from a relationship into this ideal person that we think we “need.” The truth is, one person can’t meet all our needs (and shouldn’t!) Instead, we can feel these feelings by spending time with different people and doing new things in our life. We then learn that we are in control of the way we feel, and we don’t need a partner in our life to bring us those feelings.

But although we may sometimes feel like we’re seeking connection outside of ourselves, we’re really striving for connection with ourselves. And in order to have a strong, stable relationship with someone else, we need to have that healthy, loving relationship with ourselves.

Big Idea #2: Connecting With Ourselves

So when you like feel your connection with yourself isn’t quite where it could be, ask yourself the question:

How are you keeping yourself disconnected from yourself?

Is what you want out of life going to come from a connected version of yourself, or a disconnected version of yourself?

Sometimes we try so hard to achieve so much in life and achieve this sense of connection and fulfillment. Work, school, friends and family can take up so much of our energy, and we tell ourselves that getting more done will help us feel more fulfilled. But the truth is, exspending ourselves so much often just disconnects us from our true self.

So disconnecting from yourself to try to achieve more in life is actually counterproductive for living your ideal life.

When you’re living at your highest self, the things that you want to do with your life are much more in alignment with the things that are going to bring you fulfillment and bring you in connection with yourself.

When you’re disconnected from yourself, your goals tend to lead you farther away from connection and fulfillment.

What goals would you create for yourself when you’re coming from the version of yourself that’s most connected (the best version of yourself?)

Through a deeper connection to ourselves, a deeper purpose in life emerges. This is where you’re able to live in alignment with who you are and what’s important to you.

Big Idea #3: Habits vs. Rituals

Are all habits good for you? Most of us could probably agree that no, all habits aren’t necessarily healthy or good for us. Think of smoking or drinking as examples. Often, habits are created unconsciously, and a lot of times they aren’t very good for us.

In order to fulfill our highest self, we want to graduate from habits to rituals. A ritual doesn’t have to mean some big spiritual practice where you go to India and shave your head! But it’s true that a ritual is more sacred than a habit. And it is important to maintain this sacred space in your rituals through which you can connect to yourself.

The things you do in a ritual are consciously chosen, and they are all good for you. They are things which are chosen to allow us to step into our highest self. While habits can be formed without us thinking about it, rituals are specifically chosen to help us be the people we want to be. Rituals can be formed from habits, but the important thing is that they are mindfully chosen, and repeated to serve us in reaching our higher self.

Some examples of rituals are journaling, meditating, exercising, reading, writing a gratitude list, and drinking a green smoothie or eating a healthy breakfast. Remember: a ritual is made to benefit you and is always something you consciously choose to implement in your life.

HW + Action Steps!

As always, we’d love for you to share your personal favorite takeaways in the private Facebook group.