Big Idea #1: Dealing with Triggering People or Situations

When you’re dealing with a person who bothers you, whether it’s in work, a relationship or personal life, remember that it’s not the person themself that is the trigger. If something bothers us, it says much more about us than about the other person. When we’re triggered, it’s a great opportunity to look inside and ask: “How am I that?” Usually, the answer will be “not very much”, but there is still a small part of us which is that bothersome trigger.

So if you are triggered by something dishonest or disingeniune, for example, ask yourself:

“What part of me is that?”

This is a way to bring our shadow parts into the light and reach a great level of self-awareness.

Ask yourself: “What is it that I actually want?”

If what you want is for this triggering person or situation not to bother you anymore, ask yourself, “How do I let this bother me?” and “How is this happening for me?” Sometimes, the answer to these questions aren’t always clear… but:

Confusion can lead to inquiry, and the right type of inquiry can lead to clarity.

So ask those hard questions that might lead you into a bit of confusion. And then make the inquiries to dive deeper into what’s really going on, and you’ll find clarity into your next steps.

Big Idea #2: Feelings Come from Thoughts

Feelings come from thoughts. The majority of the time that we’re feeling something, it’s coming from a thought. We might not realize that because the spacing between the two is often so small, that we don’t even recognize that separate things are happening. So to think that feelings arise directly from a situation is a misinterpretation. In reality, feelings arise from the thoughts we have about a particular situation. And guess what? We have complete control over the thoughts we have!

So when we’re feeling bothered by a certain situation, it’s not the situation itself which gives us these negative feelings. It’s our thought, interpretations and stories about the situation that give us these feelings. We have the ability in every single situation to form thoughts that will create the feelings we want to have, or at least to be able to deal positively with a situation.

What are the thought, stories and meaning that you’re giving to a situation? If we don’t become conscious of this, these thoughts will create patterns that run our life. When a situation happens, write down 20 beliefs you have about it. Then, you can begin to question those beliefs and ask, “Is that really true?” “How do I know it’s true?”

Big Idea #3: Finding Grounding in Uncertainty

Life is filled with uncertainty: this is a fact. And a life of purpose and fulfillment is bound to have lots of uncertainty!

We know that stepping deeper into our purpose involves stepping into uncertainty. In order to live on purpose, we need to go out in the unknown, leaving behind what we know in pursuit of what we can create. Whether it’s leaving a job that’s not right for you, or pursuing a path with no guarantee of where it might lead, embarking on this journey is the first step toward creating the life you want.

Too much uncertainty can sometimes create a sense of anxiety in our minds. But where does anxiety actually come from? Anxiety is a result of uncertainty x powerlessness. So let’s find some ways to find grounding and power within ourselves as we step into uncertainty.

You might be uncertain about the future, but what you do know your values, your fundamentals, who you are and what’s important to you. This knowledge of self is a very grounding place for certainty in your life. Staying grounded in what you value and who you are will help you move through uncertainty with courage and clarity.

HW + Action Steps!

As always, we’d love for you to share your personal favorite takeaways in the private Facebook group.