Big Idea #1: Helping Others by Helping Yourself

Sometimes it’s difficult to know when you should be helping someone and when you should be simply support for them. Often we feel like we need to jump in and “save” someone, and sometimes these feelings come out of guilt rather than a true sense that it’s what we really want to do.

If you feel that you might be helping someone out of guilt, ask yourself: What is it that you really want out of this situation? How much more of yourself could you give if you were serving from a place of true purpose and desire rather than from guilt or a need to rescue them?

Many people sacrifice their quality of life so their children can have a better quality of life. But this doesn’t actually end up helping them, because children don’t do what you say- they do what you do. So the best thing you can do for your kids isn’t to tell them what to do with their life- it’s to show them.

The same thing applies when you’re trying to help someone in your life. When you start to show someone what’s possible with your life, when you start to exemplify what’s possible and live in your deepest sense of purpose rather than sacrifice your own well-being, that’s when you can best help someone- through your own example.

Remember the difference between a coach and a rescuer. A coach empowers people to figure out their own solutions,  while a rescuer “fixes” someone, treating them more as a victim who can’t solve their own issues.

So you can best help another person when it comes from a place of what you really want, when you’re caring for your own well-being, and when taking more of a coaching role than a rescuer.

Big Idea #2: Exercising Your Willpower Muscle

Do you ever come home from work after a long day and just want to veg out with a pint of ice cream? If you’re someone with lots of things you want to get done, this can be a very frustrating feeling. It can be tough to get yourself in gear when you’re feeling drained. But instead of beating yourself up for it, ask yourself:

What is it you really want?

How do you want to feel?

And when you’re thinking about the things you need to do, are they things you should do or things you want to do?

Feelings follow actions. If you just do the things you want to do, you will end up feeling better about doing it! Who cares what you’re feeling before? Just take the action that you know is important to you, but you’ll end up feeling better after you do it. If you get home and just want to veg out, just put on your workout clothes and get to the gym. Chances are, you’ll be feeling great after, because you acted first, rather than following your feelings of laziness.

When you exercise your willpower muscle it gets stronger. But don’t forget that you also need to let your willpower muscle rest by sleeping and taking care of yourself, just like any other muscle, in order for it to work properly.

Big Idea #3: Reframing our Perspectives

Do you ever find yourself saying, “that’s a shame”? If you’re ever thinking or saying that, ask yourself: “What is the gift that I’m receiving here? What is this creating for me, what lesson is this teaching me?”

The lens through which we view the world can change our entire experience of life. If we can learn to shift our perspective from one of “that’s a shame” to one of “that’s a gift”, we can move through life more joyfully and bring more gifts into our life.

Explore where you’re being a victim in your life, versus a creator. When you’re a victim, you have expectations and when these expectations are not met, you’re disappointed. When you’re a creator, on the other hand, you are the master of your life and things happen for you rather than to you. This is the place from which you can turn “that’s a shame” into something that’s a gift in your life.

We must let go of who we are in order to become what we’re capable of becoming. When we let go of who we are, we often let go of some of our views and beliefs of the world and who we need to be. Shedding this old part of ourselves is how we can really learn to reframe our perspectives on events and situations in our lives. Letting go can also mean letting go of some old relationships and bringing in new, supportive relationships.

HW + Action Steps!

As always, we’d love for you to share your personal favorite takeaways in the private Facebook group.