Big Idea #1: Positive Ways to Deal With Challenges

When we’re talking about positive psychology and coaching, we’re looking at what’s already working and making it *rock.* We’re not focusing on what’s wrong or digging into our problems to try to analyze them and hope that solves them somehow.

Focus on what WORKS, first! To begin dealing with a challenge, start out by talking about something great, something positive, something you love or are excited about. You’ll move forward from a much more positive place, able to access the tools to move through the challenge.

We want to achieve mastery, and mastery is having and using the tools to deal with challenges that come up in our lives.

It’s not about hoping that challenges won’t ever come up. It’s about cultivating the ability to deal with challenges when they do come up.

So ask yourself: “How can I get better at dealing with life’s challenges?”

Yoga, meditation and exercise are all tools for dealing with challenges.

What’s the difference between what happy people do and what unhappy people do?

Happy people don’t ruminate when they’re in a negative space.

So if we find ourselves mad at life, feeling like a victim, the best thing we can do is to stop thinking.

As Einstein said:

“You can’t solve a problem using the same thinking that got you there.”

Not thinking about your problem doesn’t mean you’re repressing or denying it. It’s accepting that thinking about this will only feed extra fuel to the flames and not help you move past it. In a triggered space, it’s your job not to think about it and instead, to find a way to help your mind focus elsewhere.

Big Idea #2: Moving Through Anxiety to Reach Your Dreams

Moving through discomfort is the universal process that everyone goes through in order to achieve their dreams. If we can identify this process, we can see things how they really are and not how they appear to be in our minds.

We want to use our knowledge of self to deal with the challenges that come up in our lives.

Let’s say our heart wants to do something. We start to entertain that thought and get excited about it. We might build up the momentum or confidence to go in that direction, towards our dream.

But right before the point where we’re going to turn this dream into a reality, we often become anxious. We’re anxious because we’re uncertain, and we feel powerless to control what happens next.

Anxiety = uncertainty x powerlessness.

Because anxiety doesn’t feel good, we start to rationalize and convince ourselves the reasons why we shouldn’t do these things that make us feel uncomfortable. If we don’t know better, we’ll start to believe these things and never actually achieve our dreams.

This is where you see people in their 40’s or older looking back and regretting never going for their dreams.

Going for your dreams means you MUST face temporary anxiety and move through it rather than backing away.

Feel the fear, and do it anyway!

Big Idea #3: Closing the Integrity Gap

Sometimes we can get caught in the trap of thinking, “What will other people think of me if I do this?”

But the real question we need to ask ourselves is, “What will I think of me if I DON’T do this?”

When we stop making other people’s opinions more important than our own, then we start to close the integrity gap. The integrity gap simply means the gap between what’s important to us, and what we actually do.

When we close the integrity gap, things start to work out in life. The less that you look for other people’s validation, the more they will give it to you.

If you realize that you’re not doing something because of what other people might think, check in with yourself and ask what YOU will think of yourself if you do or don’t do this thing.

Starting with awareness is the first key step to closing the integrity gap and finding fulfillment in your life. When you’re aware that you’re acting out of fear of the opinions of others, then you have the power to feel the fear and do it anyway!

HW + Action Steps!

As always, we’d love for you to share your personal favorite takeaways in the private Facebook group.