This blog-post almost didn’t exist. True story. But since it does, I almost wrote it about taking the day off. I was gonna floss the fact that I’ve created a lifestyle where I can embrace my autonomy and do what I want, when I want. I was gonna say how today I’m taking a day to chill and do me.

The truth is that’s bullshit. I don’t take days off, not even weekends, and not holidays either.

But the line between work and play is so blurred for me that I can barely tell the difference between a day off and a day on. Spending a month in Hawaii – wait, is that work or play? I treat the nourishing of my soul and the strengthening of my consciousness as two of the greatest assets I have in my business. Without honoring myself, I couldn’t honor you. Without enjoying my life, it’d be hard to help you enjoy yours. Without loving myself, yeah – you get it.

So I’ve strategically built the blur between play and work into the foundation of my business. My best daily *business* practices include mediation, exercise, nutrition, reading, exploration, engaging in social relationships (including with random Sensophizers like you), etc…

But I almost never take days off.

Consequently, it’s Sunday night at 8:37pm right now and I’m on the R train heading home from Manhattan typing this blog on my iPhone in Evernote.

Why? Because I have a commitment to putting out posts on Mondays. And my Monday is so packed tomorrow (with work/play) that even if I decided to wait til Tuesday to publish a post, I’d have no time tomorrow to creatively engage in my romantic love affair with words and wise perspectives.

A relocation has occurred as I write this: Now I’m in the corner bodega around the block from my crib, about to buy that ice-cream before I polish up this post and call it a night.

It’s not that I waited until the last minute to create something to publish today. Rather, it’s the contrary – I was stoked. I had a big topic to tackle over the last week and instead it tackled me.

This is my 2nd time attempting to creatively construct my observations on the intertwining of Hip-Hop, class, and masculinity into a piece that I’m proud of. The blog is just not ready yet and I’ve got nothing to show for it.

So instead of “calling out sick” and taking the day off, I decided to make this post about showing up authentically. I’ve wrote about it over and over, sharing über-personal stories about how getting my heart broken two hours before one of the biggest meetings of my life – and showing up anyway – led to unforeseeable opportunities. Showing up authentically, when you’d rather not.

There’s no shame in my game. It was there for the first two decades of my life as I covered up all the things I was terrified of being exposed (including but definitely not limited to my fear of being gay, my fear of not being smart enough, my fear of being too weak, and my fear that if you knew about the drug-infested household I spent the first 5 years of my life in, well, that you’d abandon me too).

In a way that only the universe could finagle, I’ve dove so deeply into all those topics that they’ve come to be strong suits for me (hello ladies, let’s philosophize, adventure is my job).

Showing up. Authentically. I’m here. Happy to talk honestly about where I am and what I’m feeling. Showing up. Authentically. Ready to have that heart dropping butterfly eliciting conversation with you which you still may have traces of shame about. Showing up. Authentically. No judgments and no expectations. Just connection, and a soulful space held lightly for you to find the beauty in showing up authentically too.

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