Acceptance. What does that word mean to you?
Ah. Ah. Ah. Don’t look it up… Don’t consult with the world renown Webster for the right wording of its definitive definition dude. Easy breezy! Instead, tell me what it means from your personal experiences.
Eh? What’s that you’re saying? In English please, you know i don’t speak Spanish Baxter! You first want me to tell you what it means to me? No doubt, to me…
Acceptance is the beginning of a powerful process.
I don’t mean giving up. That’s not something i ever plan on doing. I’m speaking of acceptance in the sense of saying, “Okay, this is the situation” and then for bonus points… “now what am i gonna’ do about it?“
I can’t count the amount of times in my life where i wanted to change the way something was but wasn’t willing to accept my situation first. The more that i didn’t want to acknowledge what was going on with me, because i wished that it wasn’t, the more perverted and prevalent the problem became.
The counter-intuitive irony is that instead of being an ignoramus and ignoring the issue, if i would have just stopped to admit and acknowledge the situation, i could give myself the power to positively persuade and change my future.
I bring this topic up now because there’s been something i haven’t been accepting for the last month and at times, i’ve felt like shit about it. Wanna’ know what it is? Well here you have it homey, my public admission…
I’m Heartbroken!
Let it be known. I lost my best friend when my ex-girlfriend and i split up 2 months ago. We spent almost 5 days a week together for the larger portion of a year, and then, one day, it suddenly all stopped. No more time together. No more phone calls. Zero communication.
I lost the lady in my life that nurtured and nourished me most. She spoke to my soul and my soul sang songs to hers. We were in love.
But as you now know, that chapter came to a close, and Mr. Daddy-Mack Big-Dawg Sophisticated-Senophizer, ME, was too caught up in being committed to living an extraordinary life to process that pain.
I tried not to let myself feel, and accept, the emotions associated with the loss.
I didn’t allow myself the space to morn and man was that a mistake. Please pass the tissue box, sniff sniffles.
I kept having these emotional mood swings in my day. Most of the time i was good – on my game, getting things done and enjoying my life. But there would always be an hour or two or three where i just wanted to sleep and sail a boat load of carbs straight down south and into my stomach.
Two years ago, I used to get these types of mood swings frequently but for the most part i’ve proactively figured out how to prevent them before they pop up. Diet, fundamentals, purpose, autonomy – all of which i’ll talk more about in the book i’m writing.
Anyways, about two weeks ago a good friend came to live in my crib with me. Being forced to interact with my buddy on a full time basis brought me to recognize that something was off about me. I took a step back, got some altitude and suddently i realized, fuck, i’m heartbroken!
I fully felt the feeling of it. Not some sub-skewed rendition of an alternative emotion that came associated with repressing what i actually was going through. It was the real deal.
I acknowledged what i was going through and it felt good to embrace the pain. To own it. To accept it.
I started talking to people about it – not complaining – not seeking sympathy – but just saying what was going on for me. I’m still in this stage a bit as i’m just starting to mention it on Sensophy. It felt a little funny talking about it here – kinda’ like i shouldn’t be airing out my dirty laundry.
But really, there’s nothing scandalous, secretive, or even dirty about our decision to break up. I loved that girl more than any other in my entire life and we made a conscious decision to take different paths into our futures. Fuck, i can feel the pain still sitting right in the center of my solar plexus as i write this.
This revelation to you, right now, right here, is me accepting it. OUCH that feels good.
Here’s A Little Gem I Don’t Want You To Miss…
Before you can change something you must first accept it!
I share this story with you now because this is an active example of something i’ve been avoiding. But by accepting it, and then committing to work through it – the whole it, the ups and downs of it – major progress has been made.
I’m sure there’s been a similar situation that you’ve encountered in your own life. One that you didn’t want to address but ultimately you had to face it in order to move forward. On some level, you’re probably even still avoiding something that scares you now…
Accept it. Embrace it. Befriend it. And then let it go.
Change will come but acceptance is its prerequisite. The life you want won’t wait around for you forever. Now’s the time to take action and do something about it.
Bonus Question:
Where have you become comfortable in your life to the point where it’s dangerous? Now what are you gonna’ do about it? Helpful Hint… Accept it!