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The Secret Side of WDS That No Blogger Speaks About Publicly
I know your normal mode of operation is to soak in some Sensophy with aspirations of accelerating toward embodying an extraordinary life. And yes, i get it, respect it, and don’t mean to neglect it.
But today I’m gonna take you inside what the actual weekend of an extraordinary life looks like… This isn’t some far off philosophical theory that great gods of ancient Egypt once proclaimed. NO. This is real shit! See it, smell it, and take a giant wet step in it. It’s the diary of a madman gone sane. It’s a direct look into the life of Jacob Alan Sokol. Proceed with caution poor soul.
And so it begins…
Wednesday morning I picked-up my packed-up duffel bag and bounced my sack over to the airport. There’s something i really enjoy about a long day of turbulent travel. Upon reflection, it seems very “on purpose” to me as i know exactly why I’m there. There’s nothing more than me and the moment. It’s a meditative presence, as if I’m suspended still, frozen in time. Plus what better way to contrast my Zen-like moments with a few of my favorite travel indulgences.
Travel…
- is a good excuse to eat bad food.
- is a dope time to dive deep into a bad-ass book (Do You by Russell Simmons)
- is perfect for nonchalant conversing with delicious smelling ladies.
- includes an instant swagger increase including extra confidence that comes complementary of knowing i can handle the wild unknown.
- in this instance, comes with free first class flights!!
JFK Airport in NYC. First-class seats!
Wednesday night, the flight landed, i checked into my hostel, and went out to grab me a brewski (beer!) for only $2.50 (holy shit!) Take that Manhattan! Life on the road was about to begin. I like you already Portland.
I woke up Thursday morning on the top shelf of a dimly-lit hostel-basement bunk-bed. POW! Here i am. Time to live it.
Between me and you,
I had been a bit stressed out at home. I had picked up some patterns of thoughts that i wasn’t particularly fond of and they were starting to freak me out. I’m usually pretty cool, calm, and optimistic about life but sometimes you’ve just gotta embrace the growing pains and “do the work.” That can include digging into your past in order to move forward into the future. Speaking of the past…
Two weeks ago i poured my heart out to my ex-girlfriend, anticipating that we would reunite, and i was slammed with the crushing rejection of her saying “No thank you, I’ve happily moved on.” I put myself on the line and became vulnerable in a way which I’ve never done before. The event paralyzed me with pain and all sense of personal power had vanished.
So the week leading up to my Portland Oregon, World Domination Summit trip, had been (how do they say it in french………) PRETTY FUCKING BAD.
WDS booklets!
Thursday things were different though.
I was in a new city with strange people who actually smiled at me when i walked by. The sun was shining on the sidewalks and the city had started to seduce me (or was it the other way around?)
I jumped on twitter and checked out the #WDS hashtag to find a bunch of people meeting up downtown for drinks. No dizzzzoubt! I’m down with that. So i jump on the bus, get to the gathering, and let the madness begin.
I sat down to get some food with the likes of David Ursillo, Farnoosh Brock, and a couple of other remarkably awesome people. They helped coach me on how to answer a question that i anticipated we’d all be bombarded with that weekend:
“What do you do?”
By the end of our interaction, i had profound clarity on how to answer that: “I’m a professional bad-ass.” Oh no wait, it was “I’m a writer. I’m writing a book to help people find their purpose.” Simple. Straight forward. Clean cut. And a bit of shock value. I’m sold.
With those 13 words committed to memory, i was ready dominate the world. Good timing too because the last thing i wanted to think about this weekend was Sensophy. I had come up against some resistance in continuing to publish posts twice a week. To me, it felt like i was more committed to writing about the extraordinary life and less committed to living it. It wasn’t always that way though and i decided that this weekend would be different. Word.
Fuck Sensophy.
Fuck my expectations. And fuck my fear of losing everything i had worked so hard to build.
I had to get outta’ my head and what better way to do it then by being fully present with no obligations to do anything but just be me. And with the increasing number of people who were showing up, it was exceedingly easy for me to do exactly that. I threw back a beer and opened myself up.
This was pretty much my philosophy for the entire weekend. Fuck the future. Focus on the present. And as i write this now, there are some slight consequences to that ideology, including an infection that I’m battling (not sexual, you perv!!) But let me be the first mofo to tell you… IT WAS WELL WORTH IT!
Nathan Agin and I
Thursday night ended with me walking a wonderful woman back to her hotel and although we didn’t swap saliva, love was in the air. I felt it and fuck was it refreshing. But before going directly home, i stopped back into the karaoke joint where attendance included:
- Joel Runyon from Blog of Impossible Things
- Karol Gajda from Ridiculously Extraordinary
- Steve Kamb from Nerd Fitness
- Sean Ogle from Location180
- Chris Guillebeau from The Art of Non-Conformity (Who threw WDS!)
- Adam Baker from Man Vs. Debt
- Nathan Agin from Nonstop Awesomeness
- Nate Domm from Nate Walks Across America
- David Damron from Lifestyle Excursion
- Dave Ursillo from How to Lead Without Followers
- Farnoosh Brock from Prolific Living
- Jenny Leonard from Where Is Jenny
- Jonathan Mead from Illuminated Mind
- and many many more world-renown-wackos.
Goodnight Thursday.
Friday was fun.
How’s that for the understatement of the millennium? That’s like saying James Brown was edgy. It’s like saying Yao Ming’s a little tall. That’s like saying Tyler Durden seems cool. Let me rephrase it for you:
Friday was off the motherfucking meat rack!!
In fact, in the entire history of my family’s lineage, i was about to do something that no Sokol had ever done before. I was about to jump out of an airplane. Gravity ain’t got squat on me!
Flying face first outta an airplane really didn’t freak me out though – it was just another day on the agenda, another thing lined up on the schedule. We waited around, suited up, and took off high into the sky. After being in flight for about 7 minutes, i asked the dude who was strapped to my back how far up we had gone. I could tell it was almost time to jump. My man behind me replied that we were 2,000 feet above ground… “Oh okay,” i replied as i subtly continued to question him: “how high up are we going?“
WDS Sky-Diving Dare Devils!
13,000 feet!!!
As i looked out the window into the surreal surrounding, i went into a deeply reflective state and asked myself a very serious question.
“What the hell was i thinking when i decided to do this?”
At that exact moment, it wasn’t that i was chicken-shit or scared for my life (okay maybe a bit of both) but when you’re about to plunge out of an airplane, a very meditative awareness comes over you. I found my peace and then worked on coping with it. My main methods were two simple structures i set up.
The first method was to focus on my breathing with big belly breaths while counting the inhales: 1, 2, 3, 4, hold, 2, 3, 4, exhale, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
The second method was an outburst of… “FUCK YOU WE’RE ABOUT TO DO THIS SHITTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!”
1, 2, 3, 4, hold, 2, 3, 4, exhale, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
“YOU SON OF A BITCHES BETTER BE READY HERE WE COME.”
1, 2, 3, 4, hold, 2, 3, 4, exhale, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
“THIS IS SOME SICK SHIT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS ARE ALL NUTJOBS!”
Before i knew it i was flying face first through the air while throwing right hand power punches and left hand hooks. The free-fall lasted about a minute where we descended 10,000 feet in that short time span. When people ask me how it was, the best word I’ve been able to describe it with is *intense.*
Where is Jenny and I
Where Is Jenny?
One of my favorite parts of that morning was cooling out with my homegirl Jenny. Although we had never met before, this bad ass, tell-it-like-it-is, skateboarding superhero, punk-rocker t-shirt wearing woman and I had committed to talking once a week, every week, about the progress of our blogs.
I felt an instant connection to her like a long-lost sibling that i had never seen before. And although there wasn’t anyone else who i had spoken to on the phone every week (beside Mr. Nonstop Awesome), i had a similar feeling with most of the people at WDS that weekend.
Question (?)
Have you ever gone to a party for an event somewhere unfamiliar? I find that, usually, people are pretty nice and friendly right? But let me ask you this… Have you ever been invited to someone you know’s family party (especially in a Spanish home?!)
People aren’t just nice, they’re WARM because there’s love in that household. That was the feeling of WDS. It wasn’t an event, it was Chris’ family party. Nothing but love in every room of the party.
Mi amigas y amigos!
Speaking of parties,
Friday night was the opening party of WDS. I strolled through solo with my NY swag still high from the sky-diving and as i approached the check-in line, i ran into Corbett Barr, Scott Dinsmore, and Barron Cuadro. Since every interaction I’ve ever had with these dudes before then had been online, it was quite fitting that when we finally connected in the flesh, it was waiting ON-LINE!
I’ve got a confession to make. It’s not something I’m proud of although i don’t have any shame associated with it. It’s just the way i roll…
I don’t read blogs!
I read books. However, there are two blogs i check frequently. One is Smart Passive Income and the other is Corbett’s blog. So out of all the possible people i could have connected with this weekend, Corbett was one of the ones i would have really liked to spend some time with. But i didn’t. I really only spoke to him initially and i think i know why.
I know he’s got some authority in the blogosphere and i didn’t wanna “game him” and “friend him up” to tap into the power of his social network. What’s fucked up is that from what i know of him, i actually dig the dude on a personal level. But for some ignoramus-ass reason, i stayed away from him because i didn’t want to “use him.“
The opening night party!
The party was dope yo!
Lots and lots and lots of loquacious ladies. I’ll admit it. I’ve been spending so much time in my home office that i don’t have nearly the social life I’d ideally have if everything went the way i wanted it to. But being surrounding with 500 plus people who all have similar interests was like letting the water-levy of my love-life down. Everything all flowed forward. I was, as they say it in the pros, “in the zone.“
There are a couple of things in life that REALLY make me come alive. One is doing things that are unrealistic. Two is getting out of my comfort zone. And three is being “in the zone” socially (and/or sexually) with a woman.
The most memorable moment at the party that night didn’t come from sensually eye-gazing with the lovely ladies of the evening. It wasn’t even when i was laying with the red-dressed-woman in the slowly swinging hammock. Hahaha… oh no no no no no. It was this…
The Vibrator
As i hovered silently for a second, like a hawk about to strike its supper, sizing up the circumstances, waiting to seize the perfect opening to scoop right in, i listened. I was standing next to two chicks, one which i had seen earlier that had particularly peaked my interest aesthetically. I was waiting for the perfect moment to insert myself into her conversation and see if she could stimulate me intellectually with the same zest i imagined should could physically.
I waited and watched. The girl’s friend was fumbling through the WDS gift bag she had just received. “Friend” suddenly pulled out a clear water-bottle with a pink filter-top. I saw her clinch it in a way which seemed very familiar to her. She had such a tight grip and even an interesting technique for touching it. She twirled it around with a twinkle in her eyes. “Where have i seen this before,” i subconsciously thought. Suddenly, she said the words that every man’s sexual-side wishes he would catch a woman saying…
“It reminds me of my vibrator.“
WDS Gift bags (no vibrators, just water-bottles!)
Thankfully,
I was already feeling social and there was NO FUCKING WAY i was willing to let this moment pass. So i scooped in and interjected: “Well i don’t know of a better time to join a conversation than now. Please go on…“
Ahhhhhhhhh. Classic craziness that’s actually the norm at parties but most people don’t have the balls (or in this case vibrator) to talk openly about. The look on her face was insurmountable, until only moments later, when she flipped the script and spilled the beans about her friend’s little pocket-rocket back at home.
Why am i writing this on Sensophy right now?
Because it’s true and delightful and real and hilarious and i loved every second of it. There’s a great quote by Howard Thurman that i’ve heard 20,000 times and it goes: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Well that moment made me come alive and sitting here now, thinking about the subtle sexual energy that was being tossed around brings a warm smile to my face.
I don’t wanna tell you a bunch of theory or technique on how you can apply the same “strategy” i did to get girls to open up sexually. That’s not what this is about. I just wanna share what was fun for me this weekend. And what was fun was the look on this poor little naughty girls face.
The rest of the night was nuts and i won’t get too descriptive here but I’ll leave you with this vision. The conference doors opened at 8:30AM on Saturday and i was a block away at that time. The only difference between me and the other 499 people on that block is that i was waiting for a bus which was taking me in the opposite direction since i was just then heading back to the hostel from the night before. Good times.
Zen Habits meetup!
Saturday was dope,
as i started the day off half-hungover doing handstands in the park with Sarah Peck. It wasn’t long after that that Jenny Blake and i booty bumped each other and she hooked me up with a copy of her Life After College book! I ran into Emilie Wapnick and Abe Cajudo and kicked it with them. Niall Doherty showed face. I friended the fuck outta loads of people and had inspiring conversations with plenty of familiar online avatars.
There are tons of other online posts that go into depth about what formally happened at WDS and if you’re looking for a recap of the speakers, you can check out Chris’ official wrap up here: WDS 2011: “The Heart Attack of Awesome!”
Sunday night was a racket,
and i don’t play tennis. Listen… If the girl who i met at the after-party food-cart is reading this, you’re good. I mean, you really had me going girl. Rock on. I see big things coming your way. But i digress to progress. It was also nice to get back to the hostel and strike up a spontaneous conversation with another random WDS attendee. This fine young lady happened to be a stripper who lives 3000 miles away from Portland- but check this out – only 7 blocks away from me back home in Rego Park NY!! Gotta’ love hostel travel.
Upon reflection, i did notice that i spent much more time chasing tail than i did connecting with “big named bloggers” and “networking opportunities.” This is a perfect parallel for why i’m so much more productive with a girlfriend in my life. It makes me think of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and i how i had been working toward the top level of his pyramid (self-actualization) without having the bottoms ones in a better place (love-life!)
If i was hubbyed up with a wifey right now, i know that this weekend would have been a lot more productive pertaining to the growth of Sensophy because my other primal needs would have been put in place. But that’s just not the case so i embraced being single and ready to mingle. The power that a romantic relationship brings to my life is obnoxiously underrated.
Tough Love! (Photo by Farnoosh Brock)
Monday was magnificent.
Okay well this just turned into one long journal entry. Let me quickly tell you about Monday night. I went out with some of the same people who were there the first night and found myself in a conversation with Steve Kamb from Nerd Fitness. I grilled him about the process for launching his first eBook and dude spewed straight shots of fire flames from his esophagus.
I spoke to Steve about specific resistance i was running into pertaining to getting the “On Purpose” book done. Dude totally coached me through what i needed to know. Not only that, but Steve made me set a release-date for it and said he would call me out if i didn’t have it done by then.
So in the same way that i said “Fuck you John” when he challenged me to get Gary Vee to bring me to a Jets game, i say “Fuck you Steve” because the book will be done by July 19th. Asshole. Of course to be public about it, Steve is one hell of a nice guy and no matter how much shit I’m giving him online, it comes from a place of brotherly love.
In conclusion,
it wasn’t the speakers that made the weekend so spectacular. It was the people. It was the passion. It was the purpose. It was the collective energy of free-spirited creativity that pulsated throughout Portland’s Art Museum. I’d love to share with you all of the other flirtatious, high-energy, low-talking interactions that had happened but let’s save those stories for in person. Chris Guilebeau did one helluvah-job throwing together this event and I highly recommend you come next year. Simply said, THAT, was an extraordinary weekend!
Nathan Agin and I
Nathan Agin, Sean Ogle, and I
Where is Jenny getting pieced!
65 Responses to The Secret Side of WDS That No Blogger Speaks About Publicly
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Hahahaha… Jayne Jayne Jayne! What would Sensophy be without a comment like THIS from *you*…
As i was writing this post, i wondered what the hell i was doing and if anyone would actually care or just be repulsed and never visit Sensophy again. And then i thought of you commenting on my old "Travel Tales" post and i knew i had to continue on.
You are the bestest, the bloody bestest! -=)
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LOL, dope man! Awesome to share some of the experiences with you… Keep in touch yo!
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How on earth did we not meet? I was the ping pong champion at the Sunday night party ;) I'm now in NYC so if you're up for meeting lemme know
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Natalie! I hate to break it to you but i served you up on Sunday night at that ping-pong table! I hope you didn't repress that memory too far… it may not be healthy. -=)
I'll be back in NYC toward the end of the week. Lets roll!
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Great recap of your trajectory through WDS!
It was great to meet you briefly at Blitz, and I look forward to checking out more of your writing here in the future!
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Bethany says:
If only it had been in Portland, Maine! :)
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Yo Jacob,
Good to hear my state treated you well. I bet it shook your foundation to see people throw smiles at you instead jabs like I hear NY is famous for.I'm there next year and I got the first round. Keep on rockin!
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Hi honey Jacob, this was an incredibly LONG but awesome wrap. Too, too funny and intense and sincere and open and just perfect. It was SO awesome to meet you, you just have no idea. Keep things rocking and keep exploring and start over as many times as possible, just do what you love and what you want to do. Big hugs { } ! and thank you for mentioning me here more than once. *TOUCHED* :)
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Farnoosh!!!!! LOLOL… It's what i do ;) Looking forward to publishing a guest post by a special someone in the upcoming days. Madd love homey. Thank you, for being you, with me.
PS: Lucky for me, you DO read blogs!!
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I read, and I come back and read your reply too. Big hugs to you, dearest Jacob! Keep rocking the world….!
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Jacob! Thanks for keeping it crispy with this post. A straight-up and hilarious recap to WDS. That wavy arrow in the "water bottle" picture had me on the floor, man. And so cool to meet in person past the head and shoulders of our avatars. I should've been were YOU were all weekend from the looks of it. Stay gold, Sokol!
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Hahaha… loving your west coast vernacular dude. From this moment fwd, i aspire to keep all my posts "crispy." Stoked to enjoyed this post… Keep in touch homey.
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Emilie says:
Aw man.. this was such a rad recount of the weekend!!! Though I do wish you had included something about our mad pact and pickup convo at stumptown. ;)
Speaking of which, I've got some work to do before Wednesday! I'd better jump into that. Catch ya soon!
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LOLOL Em! So many afterthoughts post posting this post.
If it's any consolation of me not writing about it… I'M LIVING IT right now! Just banged out about 1,500 words in preparation for our Wednesday check-in! Rock on homegirl!
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Whenever I read your blogs you have me in deep belly laughs and touching my heart with your authenticity at the same time. Sounds like a ROCKIN fun time in Portland.
I'll be watchin for the book.
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Hahaha!! Ahhhhhh Kate -=) Thanx so much for stopping by and showing some love. I'm honored to be able to contribute to the most underrated virtue of all time: laughter!
Much love to you my conscious diva!! (and tell Sukhi i say whasssup!!)
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Dude… THANK YOU… FOR THIS POST!!!!
So DOPE!!! I have not been to a conference since affiliate summit west in January, I miss being around SO MANY AWESOME PEOPLE…
I was devastated to not go to WDS so reading this was a vicarious vacation for me. Thanks man…
p.s. Saw you met Nick Reese there, we went to college together, I should be meeting him this Thursday after I fly in…
N.Y.C. Lets do it… I am staying in Queens, what's good man?!?!?!?!?
Surfs up,
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DUDE! Make sure you hit me up when you get to NYC cuz i'll still be in travel mode and may forget exactly when you come in. 347-398-2814. I'm in Queens too dude. Whats good with Saturday night?
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Saturday night is a family thing I am flying in for… It will be open bar though, so perhaps afterward we could meet up somewhere…
Just stored your number, I'll hit you up soon!
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Margot says:
Vibrators…..always a good subject to get people to open up and laugh out loud!! Way to go!
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You really should change your pic on this site now that you have proof you're actually incredibly good looking.
Don't let it go to your head. Or I'll punch you again. ;)
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LOL. I'm blissfully taken, my friend. However, I had no idea you were still here! Let's grab coffee soon, yes? Let me know when is good for you.
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No fun. I'm about an hour outta town now. Be back thursday if you're around. -=) Friday i jump ship to NYC.
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Energetic is such an understatement for you my friend…Smiling from the first sentence to the last.
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Oh…thank you for sharing this eye-gazing, hammock swinging, booty bumping, hostel hook-upping, beer guzzling, idea generating, fun-filled, indie-inspirational love fest through the eyes of the one and only "single and ready to mingle" Jacob Sokol's eyes. What a fun, flirtatious read! I felt like I was there- I can totally imagine the warm "vibe" you described and I can only imagine you closing in on your prey- ready to strike. Hey, is that eagle/hawk t-shirt you're wearing part of the subliminal jedi mind tricks? Is that your lucky shirt? haha Happy it worked for ya! Let's get those on sale @ Sensophy ASAP! xo, E
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LOLOL O E O E… I told you it was a good weekend! It won't be long until we collide and collab in the flesh. All that eagle/hawk talk makes me think you're interested in being wingman.
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You absolutely kill me dude. When you are on, the earthquake detectors must be buzzing in Japan!
Keep on keepin' on.
Eliot-
Hahaha ahhh man. I know you know what i'm talking about!! See you in a few weeks bro. Looking fwd to going into family mode.
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Adrian Collins says:
Hahaha
Sounds like quite an adventure you had. The thing is it comes to show that if it feels right, then you should do it and ignore the plan, just go with the flow and extraordinary things will happen. I'd need to get one of these WDS one day.
With that in mind, I have my own adventure planned for this weekend, going to a big video game tournament up the country ( Dublin, Ireland ) and this post has reminded me that I just ignore any rules and expectations that I might be setting myself and just go with the flow and most importantly enjoy myself up there.
Thats the message I walked away with from this post: Just go with the flow and will get more enjoyment out of things. :)
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DUDE! Stoked that you had a take away from this devilish diary entry… Enjoy the video game tourny… Super Mario 3 used to be my shit!! Represent. -=)
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This post is kinda brilliant, I gotta say! It's a shame you missed out on mapping all the local "interesting" adult-style stores within walking distance during the opening party, you totally could've contributed! ;)
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Balla Balla.
So great to finally meet ya man. Good times all around. Lets catch up soon bro and maybe next time I'll actually be able to be the one kicking you out the plane! :) -
Jenny is frickin' hilarious. Great to meet you, Jacob. Hope you live that extraordinary life to the utmost.
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Likewise Nina! Stoked we got to speak for a while… Until our paths cross again, keep flying thru the sky!!
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Very well said, man! I felt the same way, like we were all family there. Hope to see you there next year (already got my ticket)! Awesome blog, by the way!
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We mos def will. I paid my WDS2012 dues too -=) Thanx for the warm words about the blog and keep keeping it touch homegirl!
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This is freaking hilarious.. seriously.. so fkn funny. I love it. The chasing tail thing.. is it some kinda "New Yawka" thing? I think I got hit on every 15 minutes in New York.. I even got a real life "How you doin'" .. One things for sure, you New Yawk guys sure are confident hahahaha..
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LMAO! You even gotta "How You Doin!" … That's spectacular and every girl deserves to get an authentic one of those at least once in their life. -=)
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Gunja says:
wow…
almost felt like being in the summit in person…..glad you had such a blast :)
also,wanted to thank you for starting me on the Thank You Project ….I just finished the last of the 14 and some real incredible stuffs have happened on the way…
so…yeah,Thank you …and,keep rocking!-
Gunja!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So damn cool of you to complete it. You are embodying the extraordinaryness that i aspire to be.
Thanks SO much for being you! See you in India -=)
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Dude, sounds like you have a great Fucking TIme..All those Pics where too Awesome. I can;t wait to sky dive…i think i may smoke a bit of… *Hush….mar….JU….wana* before I go. Getting high..why getting high….heaven on earth!
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LOL! Madd poetic of you bro. I can't say you'd be the only one i saw that day taking that approach. Catch you in the rotten apple!
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HEY JACOB!
Fabulous post, I felt I was riding on your shoulder the whole time…..WHAT A RIDE!
So happy that you took a RIDE ON THE WILD SIDE! It is sooooooooooooo good for the soul!!
Love to see your spirit fly so high!!!!!!!
love and light! -
Jacob, I found this post to be absolutely hilarious. Makes me feel even more like a drag sitting here looking at a computer in my home. I want to have crazy adventures too!
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Word yo. Would be dope to link up with you out there – or anywhere else for that matter.
Keep in touch!
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Haha, this post is bananas. Nathan's staying at my place tonight and somehow we got on the subject of this post. Good shit my man.
OMG Jacob, this post is f****** awesome!!! You had me rolling about in hysterics and it reminded me of your earlier posts from your travels (that said, all your posts are brilliant – this one is in a class of it's own). You should write a post about 'how to write the world's best blog post' 'cos this is it honey! Funny, inspiring and authentically you – written from the heart!
As we say in the UK, bloody brilliant!! xoxo